The sales rep replied that it was quite complicated, that I wouldn't understand. "Humor me," I countered, "just describe the basic operation." To this day, I still don't fully understand how that system actually works.

Substitute an office network for the solar heating system, throw in a technical sales rep, and add the latest version of some new hardware or software, and my parents' solar water-heating scenario becomes a typical IT project. And just like that sales rep who so many years ago couldn't actually describe how his product works, so go many of the presales techies today.

An example: I needed to know if a particular server cluster system offered by Compaq supported RAID 5 out of the box, or if it needed additional controllers to do so. I asked the sales reps of several retailers, I talked to Compaq presales support, I even talked to a consultant we had onsite working on another project. No one knew. I had to buy the unit, open the carton, and start configuring it before finding out the answer.

Another example happened at Internet World: I discovered a company selling an all-in-one Internet appliance. It load balanced, it cached, it switched, it routed, it firewalled, it VPN'd. I asked the president of the company how one Linux-based box could do all this and not encounter any software or hardware issues, and his reply? "I'm not sure how we are getting around that, but it works great." Let's all rush out and entrust our e-commerce infrastructures to this great new appliance! Yeah, right.

So, in the fine tradition of Kohut's IT Corner, I offer the following suggestions for technical salespeople. Culled from years of IT consulting and management experience (and not all from me), these tips just might keep you out of this column!

Know the Various Applications of Your Product
Just because you have a glowing testimonial from a Fortune 1000 organization or you won the Editor's Pick from a computer magazine doesn't mean your product is appropriate for my small business. As an IT manager I want to know how technology applies to my specific situation, not some hypothetical company that is nothing like the one I'm working for.

Do your homework! Make sure you know what companies like mine are using your product. I'd much rather hear about how an organization like mine is benefiting from your product than some benchmark test conducted in a lab somewhere (don't get me wrong, I still want to hear about the benchmarks, just don't make them the focus of your presentation).

Use Relevant, Current Data
I remember seeing a PowerPoint slide in a presentation that was comparing server performance. Fair enough, it's perfectly acceptable to pit your product against the competition's, but make sure you're comparing apples to apples. In the slide the competitor's server was measured with Windows NT 4, while the challenger was running Windows 2000.

Another slide I saw recently was describing Internet backbone and peering performance among several Tier-1 providers. I asked the presenter to zoom in on the slide, so I could read the tiny caption: "Source: Market Research, 1997." 1997! In this ball game eight months is out of date, and you take me back four years!

Know How Your Competition's Technology Works
Obviously, you need to know how your stuff works. But you also need to have a good handle on the competition. I was totally impressed recently by an Alteon rep. He was able to not only describe his load balancer in technical detail; he could do the same for Cisco's and F5's competing products. Of course, this approach won't benefit you unless your product is truly superior.

Be Nice!
Don't dis your competitors! I become instantly suspect when I hear a barrage of putdowns or complaints about a competing product. When we were looking for a new collocation vendor, I talked to a lot of companies. One of them sent me e-mails almost every other day spreading some dirt on their competitors. Not a way to get my business.

And don't dis my staff, or my organization (or me, for that matter!). That same e-mail-gossiping collocation vendor also insinuated that anyone who truly understood how Internet peering worked would recognize the value of their offering. I know you are trying to differentiate your company from the others, but don't do it at my expense.

Stay Friendly, Even if I Buy from the Other Guy
I already suspect that you are just being nice to me so I'll buy from you. You can confirm that suspicion by ignoring me after I sign with someone else. At the same time you are pretty much guaranteeing that I won't ever want to do business with you down the road.

On the other hand, stay concerned about my business, follow up with me from time to time (without trying to sell me anything or reminding me how stupid I was not to go with you), and we may yet do some business.

Need a Solar Water Heater?
My family and I now live in the same house that I lived in as a teenager. A couple of months ago I tore out most of the solar water heater system -- it hadn't worked properly for years. As I was cutting pipes and re-routing water lines, I saw the sticker on the holding tank with the toll-free number of the company my parents bought the system from. Do you think I was surprised when they told me they couldn't fix it? They did try to sell me a new one. Yeah, right.

Do you have technical sales rep horror story to share? Post your comments below!